stargazing pt 1

I often try to distract myself in order to not think of the negative things at all. Whether thats by being unproductive, or trying to be overly-productive, I am an expert at avoiding confrontation with the long-term thoughts that actually bother me.

Clearly, I'm building an imaginary dam - one not being bombarded by a violent storm, but rather tides that tend to ebb and flow. maybe that's why I created this mindset of "distraction" as a solution. It isn't like I hate responsibilities, but rather, it's the idea of wasting time on tasks i don't even know will produce fruitful results. It's being overly focused on the future.

But why should we think like this? why do choices equal opportunities for failure?

Just demolish the dam, allow the things i'm worried about to come in and be acknowledged, and then let the water settle. your mind should be a still spring - clear, and reflecting yourself in the present.

It's not good to compare yourself to what others are doing, and to only think about what kind of person you can be. Work isn't bad when you're actually doing it, only when you're anticipating doing it. Don't think of each choice as a mistake, but as an opportunity to grow and to discover more about yourself. If you don't live in the moment, you'll one day look back to find out that you've just been a spectator of your life instead of living in it. It's like how it is when looking at a seemingly empty part of the sky, if you take the time to observe even the things that are left unseen, you'll find it teeming with light. every small corner of the universe is full of things that are beautiful. and even if the things you encounter are, in lack of better words, not beautiful - they just become experiences.

After all, if you never did those things, if you never wrote about those topics, you'll never know that they weren't meant for you to do. and the longer you explore, the more you come across, and the wider the sky becomes. 


It is as Ralph Waldo Emerson said:


Only when it is dark enough, can you see the stars.



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