windmill of montmartre
Find things beautiful as much as you can, most people find too little beautiful
-Vincent Van Gogh
seneca
T hey lose the day in expectation of the night, and the night in fear of the dawn. - Seneca I think I had the wrong view about what it meant to live. I felt indignant, like my time was being robbed from me when I had to sit at home to study for the MCAT instead of going out on a sunny day, when I went out to have fun at night but still had a pit of anxiety reserved for the work I did not complete. Worse yet, I refuse to think about yesterday. I have roped off the past year thinking that venturing there would give me regret, for a life that remained unexamined until it already passed. These are the things that worry me the most. So let's go there right now, together. What was so bad about the previous year? One, I lost focus academically. My self-esteem dipped when I felt I could no longer learn things like I used to, and keep my attention reserved for the book I was reading. Recall became a heavy chore, and my mind felt like it was trying to sabotage itself in this tug-of-war. Two,...
